In This Present Moment
by Darlin
Summary: Everyone thinks Logan's healing factor would make him the best there is when it comes to sex and he knows that, knew it was true too. But now that he's lost that ability and his stamina's not so great he's afraid he might lose Ororo. Short one shot.


**In This Present Moment – by Darlin**

Sometimes Logan would be afraid that when he spent his evenings with Ororo that all the tussling that went on in either of their bedrooms would wake the children. Sometimes Ororo would be afraid that all the tussling that took place after hours in their rooms would wake the dead. It was that good. But that was before Logan lost his healing ability.

"Uh . . . you good, darlin'?" Logan asked a little sheepishly one night after they were taking what would have usually been their first break.

"Mmmm, if you mean good as in the opposite of bad I must admit that right now I am feeling particularly bad. And if you mean good as in taste good?" Ororo paused as she leisurely kissed her lover. "Mmmm, _you_ definitely taste good," she said and kissed him once more.

"Well, mmmmm . . . whoa, darlin' – Ro, darlin' let up a minute!"

Ororo laughed and kissed him again. Logan enjoyed kissing Ororo, in fact, she was near about the best at kissing that he'd experienced but he knew what she was expecting and unfortunately he wasn't going to be able to go another round. Not today. Not this time. Maybe not any other time. Everything had changed for him with the loss of something he'd taken for granted. It meant he was less than he had been. Did it mean he was going to lose her? His heart sank at the thought.

"It ain't so funny. I got nothin' left. I'm pooped." He was blunt. He always was. He was always honest too. He didn't want to lose her over this but what else could he say when he couldn't do her over and over like he always had?

"Why didn't you say so? We'll just snuggle and get some sleep for a change," she assured him.

"Yeah?"

"Sleep would be good. I haven't had much since we . . . this . . . us . . . And _you_ never needed as much sleep with your healing . . ." Her words trailed off, the subject something they hadn't really discussed much. Everything had changed with his loss.

"Changes everything," he admitted sourly.

"Some for the good it would appear," Ororo said and kissed him again.

"Mmmm, ya think?"

"I'm just happy to be with you, thankful to sleep longer than a few hours tonight."

"Yeah?"

"Why do you seem surprised. Aren't you happy to be with me like this? Snuggling is good."

"Yeah? Yeah I guess."

Laughing she rolled off of him and snuggled up to him, laying her head on his chest. And shortly he heard her soft even breaths and knew she'd fallen asleep. He laid there with her for a long time just watching her sleep. After some time he began to stroke her hair very gently, the hair he'd cut off for her in a moment of cleansing in a way. This woman had stood by him through thick and thin . . . and now even when he wasn't wholly himself anymore.

Everything was so different now. Even little things he'd never paid any attention to before. His arm falling asleep was strange. He wasn't quite sure what to do He'd heard people talk about body parts going to sleep on them but had thought nothing of it. It hadn't mattered. If his arm or anything else ever went to sleep it was a momentary nuisance soon forgotten because his healing factor would kick into gear and whatever body part that had failed would be raring to go again just like new, more often than not in just a matter or seconds. But that was another time. This time, in this present moment, he was dancing with death. Every day now. And someday, maybe soon, someone was going to put a bullet in his heart and that would be it.

That was a strange thought to accompany a strange feeling he thought to himself and then he tried not to think at all. Instead he tried to shake his arm without disturbing Ororo but that was impossible. The tingly feeling wouldn't go away and it kind of hurt so he slowly eased it out from under her. He was glad when she didn't wake up and he was able to shake his arm above his head till it felt better.

"Mmmm . . . what's wrong?" Ororo asked, groggy from sleep but suddenly awake.

"Sorry ta wake ya darlin' but . . . um . . . my arm fell asleep." He'd never said that to anyone before he realized then thought how stupid he sounded.

"Mmmm, I always like waking up to you, darlin'," she purred as she snuggled closer.

He liked this snuggling. He liked being with her like this. He couldn't imagine a lot of the women he'd been with being this accepting. Truth told he knew a lot of women thought he could go all night and that was his appeal to them, probably the only thing that attracted them. But that had just been sex. It was different with him and Ororo. It was sex and damn good sex with her but it was different, more personal, better. Fulfilling. They made love.

"Whoa," Logan murmured as he digested this new thought. But it also made him suddenly wonder how it would've been with Mariko if they'd gotten married and consummated their love. But just as quickly he knew that was of no importance. That was another time too. In this time, in this present moment, he was with Ororo and everything was just as it should be. And it was good, it was the best.

"Ro, humor me here, darlin'," he said.

"Always," she said, sleepily.

"Always," he repeated, quietly and thoughtfully, the word taking new meaning in his thoughts.

"I thought you wanted to sleep," she reminded him.

"Yeah. Well . . . got a lot of things on my mind, like dyin' an' stuff."

"Welcome to the real world, darlin', we all must die one day."

"Yeah. But thing is I could go down any day, any moment an' by anyone or anything."

"True."

"However it's gonna go down you know I'm goin' out fightin'."

Ororo caught his hand in hers and squeezed. "I would expect nothing less."

Logan's heart swelled with deep emotion. It almost hurt, how much he loved this woman.

"You know, you're perfect, Ororo."

She chuckled. "Neither of us are perfect although I think we're perfect _together_."

"Yeah. We are aren't we?"

She nodded and closed her eyes and smiled. She liked snuggling like this.

"Let's make it official then," he said, his heart beating so fast he thought he might be sick.

"Official?"

"Marry me."

"Marry you?"

"I love you an' I'm pretty sure you love me an' . . ."

"Of course."

"Of course what? Of course you'll marry me?"

"Of course I'll marry you. I love you very much, Logan."

"Good." His voice was full of relief. "Now, when I go at least I'll go down happy."

"No more talking about death. Snuggle and sleep," she instructed.

"Anything you want darlin'."

He could tell she was tired but happy too. But after a minute or so he was sure she was crying silently and he couldn't understand why.

"Hey, Ro?"

"Hmm?"

"You okay?"

"I'm okay, I'm better than okay."

"Then why're ya cryin'?"

"Tears of happiness, darlin'."

"Yeah?" He felt better, relieved, and he kissed her wet cheeks. "Thank you fer sayin' yes, darlin'."

There was no need for sex, no need for lovemaking. Holding onto each other, snuggling, was all either of them needed. And Logan held on to her long into the night just glad that in this time, in this present moment, before death came for him, he could be with the woman he loved, the woman he was going to marry.

**~Finis~**


End file.
